Sunday, 19 June 2011

God Ugly

At the family dinner table my wife asked our number 1 son  (N1S) and  nephew if you were a super hero what super powers would the posses, which opened up a flood gates of ideas.  The nick name I have for N1S is "UGLY", not that he is ugly, quite the opposite. 

Ugly is a super power to rival anything the reverse underwearing freaks have.

Allow me to explain.

Every Girl Needs an Ugly Friend

Ugly has the ability to make the average look super hot.

Ugly is super hot, if it accompanied by fame or fortune.

Ugly rules the world.

Ugly can employ it's cloking device in dimly lit rooms or/and the consumption of the smallest amount of alcohol.

Uglies only Kryptonite is a paper bag.

Is it a bird, is it a plane no it's  GOD UGLY.

Monday, 6 June 2011

Spiderman Ute

Last week Number 2 Son (N2S) decided to take his plastic Spiderman Ute to grade one show and tell.  At the breakfast table I started to give an in prompt act on how the show tell would be presented to the class.  I amused myself  so much that I had to create this blog.

Teacher; "Now what have you there, N2S?"

N2S "It's my Spiderman Truck"

Teacher "Tell the class, about your truck"

N2S " It has 6 wheels, 1 on each axle, the steering wheel and the spare, which is invisible, 'cause spiderman would not drive a unroadworthy truck.  He uses it when his arms get tired from swinging from the buildings.  The lights on the roll bar are for night hunting kangaroos (Roos). Spiderman doesn't like Roos cause the eat the grass and bounce around and they rob people, and there commies and a good Roo is a dead Roo. Every weekend he gets a case of beer and his mates and they  head out to protect us from evil Roos."

N2S " Any questions?"

Classmate "Does he use it all the time?"

N2S "No, when Spiderman is under cover e.g. . Peter Parker he has the same Ute but without the stickers - which isn't as cool ' cause sticker make everything cooler."

Classmate "Does Peter Parker use it for Roo Shooting?"

N2S  "Yeah, but  he drinks Light beer and he uses a camera not a gun, 'cause his a no good Roo loving hippy"